


The Day Before Tomorrow Was Yesterday, Too

by margaretlafleur



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27235372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margaretlafleur/pseuds/margaretlafleur
Summary: Adora is captured, and Hordak's portal is complete. Catra wishes to herself that she could feel this victory every day forever.Unfortunately, her wish is granted.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	1. ...We've Been Here Before?

"Catra! Please don't!"

Everything Catra had done up to this point was building to this. The portal was complete, and with the pull of one simple little lever it would open up and destroy everything Adora and the other princesses loved. If Entrapta was right, maybe even everything, period. It didn't matter anymore. This is what Catra wanted. Adora was going to lose, one way or the other.

With one last look back at her former friend, Catra gave a defiant smirk and pulled the lever.

" _No_!" Adora shouted. Slowly, the components of the portal assembled, violent streaks of electricity arcing out from the Sword of Protection holding it all together. It was happening. The feline glanced to Adora's new friends, both of them gazing up in horror as their defeat loomed above. Even Shadow Weaver bore an unmistakeable look of shock behind her mask. Catra couldn't help but feel a tinge of satisfaction.

She looked back to Adora, and her face was the most priceless of them all. This, Catra thought, was exactly what she wanted; to look into her enemy's eyes and see only despair at her inevitable failure. Now that the feline had tasted real victory for the first time in her life, she was hooked. She never wanted to lose to anyone ever again. Especially not Adora.

But her triumph was short lived. Not a moment later, a deafening noise rang out, and Catra was forced to shield her eyes as a blinding light enveloped the room. The last thing she saw was the silhouette of that sword, that awful sword that had ruined her life, vanish along with everything else.

Finally, there was nothing.

*****

Catra woke up alone at the foot of Adora's bunk.

She'd just had some terrible dream, but for the life of her she couldn't remember anything that happened in it. The midday light poured through the barracks windows, warming Catra's fur. With a groan, she clambered to her feet, accidentally banging her head on the bunk above her as she did so. She muttered profanities under her breath and massaged her aching skull.

The barracks were empty, save for herself. She must have slept in again, the other cadets were probably training already. She stretched and let out a lazy yawn, padding her way over to the training hall.

By the time she got there, Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio were already engaged in battle with a giant Horde bot. Well, Lonnie and Rogelio were, anyway. Kyle was riding the bot like it was an ornery bull, nearly getting knocked off with each movement of its four legs.

"Guys! A little help!" he called out to them.

"Quit screwing around, Kyle!" Lonnie said. "You're gonna make us fail again!" She tried to smack the legs out from underneath the bot with her quarterstaff, but it retaliated by smacking her away into a wall. Ignoring his fallen comrade, Rogelio let out an annoyed growl and started clambering up the robot in an attempt to save Kyle.

"Don't split up! You have to work together to succeed," called a familiar voice. Catra spotted Adora standing on the sidelines, her force captain badge gleaming in the bright lights of the training room as she guided the trio of young adults. It seemed that she hadn't noticed the feline enter.

Smirking to herself, Catra decided she was going to get this morning started off right. She kicked off against a nearby wall and climbed up onto the piping hanging below the ceiling. Dextrously, she crawled along it until she was positioned right above Adora. From this angle, Adora's ponytail and hair poof looked even dorkier than usual. An irresistible target.

Silently, she pounced down onto the clueless force captain. Adora looked up a moment too late to save herself and was tackled to the floor with a yelp. Cackling to herself, Catra pinned the girl's wrists with her hands and looked down at her.

"Hey, Adora."

"Oof! Catraaa!" she scolded, struggling to subdue a laugh. "I let you sleep in and this is how you repay me? You are a _terrible_ friend."

Catra smirked. "What? Someone's gotta keep you on your toes. Just 'cause you're a force captain now doesn't mean you don't have to stay sharp."

From across the hall, she could hear the panicked screams of Kyle as the massive automaton bucked him off of its hull, sending him flying across the room. "I got him!" Lonnie called, sprinting over to catch him. Instead, she ended up softening his fall as he knocked her over, the two crumpling into a pile on the floor. Rogelio joined them a moment later when the bot swatted him away, landing directly on Kyle.

"I should probably take care of that," Adora said. Reluctantly, Catra let go of her. The two of them stood up as Adora produced a remote from her pocket and pressed a button on it. The robot deactivated and dropped to the floor, leaving the three defeated cadets to get back on their feet.

"So, what did we learn?" Adora asked, approaching them.

Lonnie rolled her eyes. "Don't let Catra skip out on training anymore?"

"Yeah!" Kyle exclaimed from his position on the cold floor. "How come she gets to sleep in?" Rogelio silently picked him up and gave his hair an affectionate ruffle.

Adora scoffed. "Catra was busy helping me liberate Erelandia from the princesses' grasp last night. She earned some rest. You three, on the other hand, still have a lot of work to do before you're ready to get out there."

Catra silently stuck her tongue out at the trio.

The others grudgingly nodded, and Adora clasped her hands together. "Alright, we'll call it there for today. Dust off and hit the showers."

After the others were out of earshot, Catra nudged her with her shoulder. "Seems to me you actually like being in charge."  
Adora shrugged. "I dunno, it's been growing on me a bit. We did so well in the siege yesterday, I'm beginning to think I might actually have a handle on this whole leadership thing."

"Don't forget who helped you take out the defenses along the walls," Catra added. "You couldn't have done it without me."

"Hmm. Guess I'll just have to keep you around then, huh?" She reached up and scritched behind Catra's ear, eliciting a soft _purr_.

It was such an innocent gesture, one Adora had been doing since the two were kids. Even now, she was the only person who could touch her like that and not lose fingers. 

"C'mon, we've got a busy day ahead of us." Adora retracted her hand, leaving Catra wanting more, but unwilling to ask for it. The feline watched wistfully as the force captain hurried off in the direction of the lockers.

Adora still needed her, even now. Everything was right with the world after all.

*****

After the cadets had shuffled out of the locker room, Adora took the opportunity to shower. Today's force captain meeting didn't start for another thirty minutes yet, and Adora was a bit of a hygiene freak compared to Catra. 

"...and then she told me she didn't like my hair poof!" Adora said through the shower stall, regaling Catra with a tale of one of the less pleasant force captains she'd met at orientation. "I mean, come on! I only just met her!"

"The nerve of some people," Catra remarked idly as she picked up Adora's jacket from the bench and held it up to examine. 

The shower faucet turned off with a squeak, and she could hear Adora starting to dry off. "I know, right? Everyone talked her up as being super nice, and then… _that_!"

The feline was only half listening. She slipped on the jacket, standing up to go check herself out in the mirror. Oh yeah, she could definitely pull off this look.

While she was busy admiring herself, Adora opened up the stall, dressed in fresh clothes and vigorously rubbing a towel through her hair. "You know, you don't look half bad in that."

Catra grinned, taking it off and tucking it under her arm. "Does that mean I get to keep it?"

"Nope. Give it here." She set down the towel and reached for the jacket, but Catra was quicker. She ducked under the girl's arms and chuckled to herself.

"Make me," she challenged, knowing Adora would never back down from it. Immediately, the game was on. Catra zipped around the room, thwarting the other girl's attempts to steal back her prized possession. Adora was strong, but it wouldn't do her any good if she couldn't catch the much more agile Catra.

Eventually her little game backfired when Adora chased her into a corner of the locker room, casually planting her hand against the wall right next to the catgirl. Her hair was still wet, not yet tied up into the familiar ponytail Catra loved to hate. Adora brushed a dripping strand of it out of her face.

" _Hey_ , Catra."

Catra could practically feel the blood rush to her cheeks all at once. She would be lying if she said she hadn't fantasized about this exact scenario dozens of times. Adora leaned in even closer, and Catra was beginning to wonder if this was another dream.

Just when the tension between the girls was at its peak, Adora snatched the forgotten jacket from the cat's sweaty hands and giggled.

"I win."

"Wha- hey!" Catra squeaked. "No fair!"

Adora slipped her jacket on. "You're one to talk about fair, Catra."

She turned around to leave the room, but collided directly into Shadow Weaver at the doorway.

"Shadow Weaver! Sorry, ma'am." Adora gave a salute from her newfound position on the linoleum, damp hair covering her eyes.

Their mentor idly dusted off her garb. "Adora. I was just looking for you. Congratulations on your victory in Erelandia."

"Thank you, ma'am," said Adora. She rose to her feet, looking back over to her friend. "I couldn't have done it without Catra, though."

"So I've heard in your debriefing." Shadow Weaver's eyes rested upon Catra. "I suppose congratulations are in order for the both of you."

The feline's ears twitched. Was Shadow Weaver… _complimenting_ her? Next, she thought, Kyle would turn out to be a legendary warrior prince with a magic sword.

The sorceress stepped closer to her. "It seems you're finally taking my tutelage to heart." She produced a shiny force captain badge in a puff of black smoke. "Perhaps this will motivate you to continue your efforts."

Catra could scarcely formulate a response. She slowly reached out and took the badge, turning it over in her hand and scrutinizing it. This couldn't be real… could it?

"You're welcome," Shadow Weaver said. She disappeared out the door as abruptly as she came in, leaving the two girls to ponder this turn of events.

"Catra, this is great!" Adora exclaimed, tying up her hair. "We're gonna be force captains together! Maybe you were right about the two of us running the Fright Zone someday."

Pinning the badge to her uniform, Catra looked over to Adora with a cocky grin. "Am I ever wrong? Give it a few years and we'll have taken Hordak's place."

Adora did a mock salute. "Yes, Lord Catra."

"Oh, that is too good. I think Queen Catra has a nicer ring to it though, don't you?"

"Alright, _your highness_ , we're going to be late to the force captain meeting if you get any more delusions of grandeur. C'mon." Adora hurried out of the locker room, with Catra trailing behind her not long after.

*****

"Kyle! Watch it!"

Lonnie reached for the crate her squadmate was fumbling, but it had already smashed open onto the floor and spilled its contents everywhere before she could get a handle on it.

"Oh, man, Grizzlor is going to kill me…"

Lonnie let out an exasperated sigh, crossing her arms. "That wasn't even the right box! That one's ration bars, this one's stun batons. Do you even know how to read?"

"Yes!" Kyle said a bit too defensively.

As Adora and Catra passed their cadets in the hall, Rogelio was the only one who seemed to notice the two approach, giving an embarrassed salute. Lonnie turned over to see them a second later, eyes fixating on the shiny green badge Catra wore. Disbelief spread across her face.

"No way. They made _her_ a force captain?"

Catra feigned nonchalance. "Yep. I guess Shadow Weaver recognizes talent when she sees it."

Kyle, arms full of ration bars, looked up at the feline. "Congratulations, Catra! Uh, Rogelio, what should I do with these?"

The lizardman grunted something in reptilian, pointing at an empty crate.

"That's _force captain_ Catra to you now. And I'd love to sit here and gloat all day, but Adora and I have a very important meeting to attend. Have fun, you three!" With that, the two officers left their subordinates to their work.

"I can see this definitely isn't going to your head," Adora remarked.

"What? I earned this badge, I can brag a little. Besides, people work harder when they're jealous."

"Oh, that must be why you've been actually trying lately." The blonde gave Catra a playful nudge.

She rolled her eyes. "Pffft. I didn't want you to have to do this alone, is all." A pause. "Don't look at me like that! It's not because I _like_ you or anything, I just figured you'd be clueless without me to back you up."

Someday she would admit it, but not today.

Luckily, the two of them managed to arrive on time for the meeting, but only just. The other officers were standing amongst themselves, talking and swapping stories. Some of them stopped and glared at Catra as she entered, acutely aware of the reputation that preceded her. Adora gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder in response.

"Alright everyone, take your seats," ordered Commander Cobalt, waiting for the room to become orderly before continuing. "We have a new officer among our ranks today. Please welcome force captain Catra."

There were a few grumblings that resembled a greeting. A woman with scorpion claws for hands sitting next to Catra clapped. Or, tried to, anyway.

The commander was quick to move on. "Last night, force captain Adora's unit managed to liberate Erelandia from hostile rebels, allowing us to clear a path into the Whispering Woods with our mechanized forces. In addition, force captain Octavia reported she's destroyed the sea gate at Salineas and her troops are currently moving in on its palace. Plumeria has remained firmly in our grasp."

Catra rested her elbow against the arm of her chair, propping her fist against her cheek and trying not to fall asleep. This was hardly better than war gossip, things even the cadets would be talking about.

"Our intel suggests that the remains of the princess threat are hunkering down in their stronghold of Bright Moon. Force captains Catra and Adora will lead a small strike team into the castle, disrupting the enemy's position while our ground forces assault the walls. With the princesses' guards distracted, their stronghold will crumble into disarray."

Adora and Catra exchanged silent looks as the commander continued on about the operation. She'd only been promoted less than an hour ago and she was already being entrusted with such an important role? She really _was_ moving up in the world.

"We'll be mobilizing at oh-eight-hundred hours. Dismissed."

*****

"I can't believe it! My first day as an officer and they're already giving me a mission! Not just _a_ mission, _the_ mission! The war could be over by tomorrow."

Catra walked along the railing atop one of the many buildings in the Fright Zone. This rooftop in particular was her and Adora's special place. They'd started coming here during their downtime as soon as they were old enough to be unsupervised, a secret little haven from the stressful atmosphere of the Horde.

Adora leaned against the railing, watching the horizon as the sky slowly faded into starless purple night. "No more war. It seems weird, doesn't it? We've been fighting all our lives for this." She turned to face the catgirl. "When it finally _is_ over… what do you wanna do?"

Catra had an answer for that question long before Adora ever asked it, but now didn't feel like the time to say it. "I'll tell you after we win. Don't wanna ruin the surprise in case we screw up."

"Ooh, mysterious. Now I definitely have to give it my all tomorrow."

"What about you, Adora?" She hopped down from the railing, reclining against it next to the blonde. "What do you want?"

"Hmmm. I want lunch."

"Okay."

"But like, a real lunch. No more ration bars, just some real hot food and some good company to share it with."

Catra snorted. "Would you settle for me?"

"You're who I had in mind."

The feline couldn't hide the flush of red tingeing her face. "Oh. That, uh... that sounds nice."

The two of them stood there in silence for a few minutes, quietly basking in the grace of each other's company. When it was time to go, Adora took Catra's hand and the two returned to the barracks.

That night, curled up at the foot of Adora's bunk, Catra purred contentedly to herself while her friend slept. Today had been good. Maybe even perfect. She could only hope tomorrow brought her the same happiness.

Her eyelids became heavy, and sleep overcame her.


	2. Everything Is So Familiar.

"Catra! Please don't!"

Catra didn't know where she was, but she got the feeling something terrible was happening. There was a sword, a very familiar sword, suspended in the air and spewing bolts of lightning across the room. Adora was behind her, shouting at her, tied by her wrists to a support beam. The cat's hand was poised on a lever.

How had it come to this? She tried to let go, to call out and run to her friend, but it was as though she were watching it all unfold on a screen, subjected to every sight and sound but helpless to change the outcome.

Some uncontrollably twisted smile spread across her face. Her hand yanked the lever down.

" _No_!"

A deafening roar. A flash of light. Regret.

*****

Catra woke up alone at the foot of Adora's bunk.

She'd just had some terrible dream, but for the life of her she couldn't remember anything that happened in it. The midday light poured through the barracks windows, warming Catra's fur.

Wait. Midday?

Realization hit her all at once. "The siege!" She practically jumped out of bed, once again slamming her head into the bunk above her and letting out a string of swears. What time was it? Surely the others wouldn't have left without her, would they? The empty barracks confirmed her suspicions. Everyone was gone.

She sprinted off down the hallway in search of the other force captains. Maybe she wasn't too late. Familiar voices made her stop in her tracks just outside the training hall, however.

"Guys! A little help!"  
  
"Quit screwing around, Kyle! You're gonna make us fail again!"  
  
"Don't split up! You have to work together to succeed."  
  
Adora was still here! At least they'd be getting grilled together for forgetting about the attack on Bright Moon. Catra crashed through the doors.

The other force captain was standing on the sidelines as she guided Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio through the same combat simulation as yesterday. She practically jumped out of her skin when Catra made her violent entrance.

"Catra! I let you sleep in and this is how you repay me? You are a _terrible_ friend."

"Adora! What time is it?" she demanded.

"It's like, half past eleven. Why?"  
  
"We're late for the siege! Come on, we have to move before-"  
  
"What are you talking about? The siege on Erelandia was yesterday."

"No, no, the siege on Bright Moon! Don't you remember the force captain meeting we went to yesterday? We were supposed to leave at eight!"

Adora held up her hands disarmingly. "Slow down, Catra. One, there is no siege on Bright Moon. Two, there was no meeting yesterday. And three, you're not a force captain."

Catra glanced down at her uniform. Her badge was nowhere to be found. When had it come off? She swore she'd been wearing it last night.

"What? I don't… I don't understand." This had to be some elaborate prank that the other force captains were playing on her. Ugh, she was a fool to think she could _really_ be one of them. What she couldn't fathom was why Adora of all people would participate in something so mean-spirited. It was just so out of character.  
  
Kyle went flying across the room. "I got him!" Lonnie called before being toppled by the falling boy. Rogelio was swatted away next, landing right on top of Kyle.

"I should probably take care of that," Adora said. She pulled out her remote and deactivated the giant bot. "So, what did we learn?"

"Don't let Catra skip out on training anymore?"

This conversation was starting to feel very, very familiar. Hadn't they said the same thing, word for word, yesterday?

"Yeah!" Kyle added. "How come she gets to sleep in?" 

"Catra was busy helping me liberate Erelandia from the princesses' grasp last night. She earned some rest. You three, on the other hand, still have a lot of work to do before you're ready to get out there."

This was getting too weird. Why did she remember all of this? The feline gripped her head, eyes wide and gazing at the floor. She needed to cool off and think.  
  
"Catra, are you okay?" Adora's hand reached out to touch her arm, but Catra was already running off to the locker rooms. "Wait!"

*****

She let the faucet run, splashing water into her face and taking a nervous look into the mirror. _Okay. This is all just some weird fever dream. You probably ate a bad ration bar right before bed and now you're paying the price._

She squinted into the reflective glass. _So why does it feel so real?_

"There you are." Adora sighed in relief as she entered the locker room behind Catra. "You ran out so suddenly..."

"Adora. You and the other force captains aren't trying to mess with me, are you?" 

"What? Catra, no, of course not. What's brought this up? Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Catra admitted. She turned off the faucet and let the sink quietly drain. "Something really, really weird is going on and I can't explain it. It's like all of this happened yesterday, and now it's happening again."

The force captain frowned. "I don't know what you mean."

"Uuugh! I don't know what I mean either, I just know I've done all of this before and it's freaking me out!"

Adora's hands grabbed for Catra's wrists, gripping them tight. If the catgirl weren't in such emotional turmoil already, her face would probably be burning red hot. "Hey. Take some deep breaths."

Catra sucked in a breath, held it, then let it go. Then again. The panic pushing at the back of her mind began to subside.

"Whatever's happening to you, we can handle it together. You're not alone, okay?"

She looked at the floor. "Okay."

"I think what you need is a cold shower and some rest. The siege was pretty intense, you're probably still worked up from all the fighting."

Before Catra could give her an answer, Shadow Weaver entered the locker room. "Adora. Congratulations on your victory in Erelandia."

"Shadow Weaver!" The blonde let go of her friend's arms and spun on her heels to give a salute. "Thank you, ma'am. I couldn't have done it without Catra, though."

"So I've heard in your debriefing. I suppose congratulations are in order for the both of you."

Catra remembered the next words. "Guess I'm finally taking your tutelage to heart."

She swore she saw the sorceress's eyes widen behind her mask for a fleeting moment. "Exactly as I would have said. Perhaps this will motivate you to continue your efforts." The force captain badge appeared in her hand, just as it had yesterday. Catra took it.

"You're welcome," said Shadow Weaver, vanishing a moment later.

Catra shot Adora a look that screamed 'I told you so'. "What was that you said earlier about not being a force captain?"

"That's just a coincidence. You're only one for three."

" _Two_ for three," Catra shot back. "There's a meeting today, isn't there? And as soon as it starts you'll see I was right."

*****

By the time Catra had calmed down and the two left the locker room, it was nearly time for their meeting. In the hallway nearby, Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio were once again transferring supply crates.   
  
"Wait, Adora. Watch." Silently, she lifted her hand and counted down on her fingers.

Three, two, one...

"Kyle! Watch it!" The crate came tumbling to the floor as predicted, ration bars spilling out everywhere.

"Okay, that doesn't prove anything," Adora said as the cadets began to argue amongst each other. "Kyle drops things all the time."

"Not on cue, he doesn't. I'm telling you, it's all playing out exactly like it did yesterday."

"How come I don't remember it then?"

"I don't know! I'm still trying to convince myself this isn't some weird dream I'm having."

Lonnie gawped at the feline's badge. "No way. They made _her_ a force captain?"

"Congratulations, Catra!" said Kyle.

She ignored the cadets and ushered Adora on. "Ugh, let's just get this meeting over with."

A few minutes later, and the two had managed to get to the meeting room. Catra quietly hoped this would prove her wrong, if only to put an end to this bizarre event. She'd much preferred how this day went the first time around.

"Alright everyone, take your seats," ordered Commander Cobalt. "We have a new officer among our ranks today. Please welcome force captain Catra."

More grumbling, the same as before. The scorpion lady from yesterday clapped her claws together in an attempt at applause. The Commander droned on some more about current events.

"If you're wrong about this," Adora whispered, "you have to fork over all your grey ration bars for a week."

"If I'm right about this," Catra retorted, "it won't matter."

"Our intel suggests that the remains of the princess threat are hunkering down in their stronghold of Bright Moon. Force captains Catra and Adora will lead a small strike team into the castle, disrupting the enemy's position while our ground forces assault the walls."

Catra nudged a stunned Adora with her elbow. "Three for three," she said joylessly.

*****

The rooftop was the perfect place for weird conversations they wouldn't want others to overhear, so naturally it was their next stop.

"I just don't get it," Adora said for what must have been the tenth time today. "Things like this just don't happen on their own. If what you're saying is true, then there has to be a reason for it. Maybe this is some kind of princess magic."

"Maybe," Catra offered weakly, dangling her legs over the edge of the railing. That would make a lot of sense, actually. The princesses all had weird, freaky powers. If it were anyone's handiwork, it would be theirs.

"Did anything weird happen when you were in Erelandia?" asked the blonde.

Catra tried to recall the events of the siege but, strangely, all that came to mind were vague recollections rather than concrete memories. She thought she remembered scaling the city walls... No, she'd only said something about it yesterday. That is, the yesterday that was also today. Or was it the today that was also yesterday? She balled her hands into fists and pressed them against her temples. Why was this so difficult? The moment she tried to think about the day of the siege, or anything before it, the details got fuzzy. Like it happened a lifetime ago. Or, never at all.

"I don't remember. Why don't I remember?"

"Hey, take it easy!" Adora once again grabbed the cat's wrists, this time guiding them back down to her sides. "Try thinking back earlier. What _can_ you remember?"

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I remember back when we were kids. That time I scratched Octavia's eye. The time we snuck into the Black Garnet chamber and I got caught." She paused. It seemed some things were coming back to her, clear as crystal. "The day you got promoted to force captain. After that it's all blurry."

"That one's not so far back," Adora said encouragingly. "You remember anything else from that day?"

"You stole a skiff and we went into the whispering woods. You found something, I think. Wanted to go back that night." She was running into another mental block again. What came next...?

"That's not what happened."

Catra opened her eyes, her concentration lost. "What? How do you not remember that?"

"Because it didn't happen. You spent the whole day pouting up here because you couldn't come to Thaymor with me. I had to beg Shadow Weaver to let you and the other cadets come."

"No, no, I remember it clearly. You said you found..." For a fleeting moment, she envisioned a gold-handled blade, floating in the air and sparking. "...a sword! That's what it was."

"Catra, that's ridiculous. I never would've stolen a skiff, especially not to go into enemy territory without permission." She took a glance out to the empty sky as dusk turned to night. "It's getting late. We can worry about this tomorrow, okay?"

"I'm starting to believe there isn't going to be one of those," Catra grumbled. Nevertheless, she was eager to put the day behind her, and the two soon retired to their quarters.

That evening in Adora's bunk, she tossed and turned restlessly, unable to shake the anxiety that was eating away at her. The idea that today could happen tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, was downright a nightmare. It had been perfect the first time, why did she have to do it again?

She had to formulate a plan. Quietly, she dragged a clawed finger across the sheets of the bunk. _Rrrip_. If today was some freak accident and she'd just had some horrible magic precognition, the tear would still be there tomorrow. If not... well, at least she would know she wasn't losing her mind.

It was only a small reassurance, but she was feeling a bit more grounded already. Not to mention sleepy.

Before she knew it, she had drifted off to an almost peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday, catra applesauce meowmeow
> 
> your present is angst


	3. Can't You See It, Too?

"Catra! Please don't!" Adora pleaded.

She was having this nightmare again. Truthfully, she hadn't even remembered dreaming it last night until now, but now that she was here again it all clicked into place. She still couldn't comprehend what it meant, but at least she was somewhat lucid this time around.

Catra had recurring nightmares about a lot of things. Shadow Weaver catching her misbehaving and tormenting her as punishment. Getting ambushed by princesses. Adora abandoning her for better friends. But this one was new to her. And it felt far different from anything she'd experienced in her past. More vivid. She could see and hear clearly, but again, her movements were not her own. She was a marionette tied to some unseen puppetmaster's hand, carrying out their motions against her will.

In front of her floated that familiar sword. Not any sword, she realized, but the one she told Adora about yesterday. The blade crackled and popped with static, waiting to destroy. The feline couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt as though the sword had already taken something from her. What exactly she was missing, though, must not have been important enough for her to remember.

Her hand was on the lever. She yanked forward.

" _No_!" cried Adora.

Everything was gone again.

*****

Catra woke up alone at the foot of Adora's bunk.

She'd just had a terrible dream, and this time she remembered enough to feel uneasy. The midday light poured through the barracks windows, warming Catra's fur.

The cat looked around for the rip she'd left in the sheets. She was sure she'd torn it somewhere around here, but the mark was nowhere to be found. Desperate to find any answer but the one she dreaded, she crawled up the length of the bunk looking for any sign of damage. It was completely spotless.

She flopped down onto the mattress and lay there for a minute, taking in the gravity of her predicament. She could at least rule out her own mental instability, since she was beyond certain of her actions last night.

Then again, if she were losing her mind, would she even realize it?

Eventually, she decided it was time to get up and face the day, before it inevitably faced her first. Careful not to smack her head on the top bunk this time, she ducked out of the barracks and made her way to the training hall. Just as she suspected, Adora and the three cadets were going through the exact same routine. Catra, on the other hand, was going to try a different approach.

She shuffled her way over to the force captain. "Hey, Adora," she yawned.

Adora seemed pleased to see her. "Morning, Catra. Hope you don't mind, but I let you sleep in. Seemed like the siege on Erelandia just about wiped you out."

So Adora didn't remember anything, same as yesterday. "Uh huh. Definitely wiped out," she affirmed. "Listen, I think I have to sit out on training. I'll meet up with you later, okay?"

"What's all this about? You're not planning on getting into trouble without me, are you?"

Catra shook her head. "Just gonna go exploring. If anyone asks, tell 'em I got fleas again and I'm in medbay."

Adora sighed. "Fine. Just... be careful, okay?"

"You know me."

"That's why I'm telling you to be careful."

Leaving the training hall behind her, Catra ventured out into the greater area of the Fright Zone to find the answers to her burning questions.

*****

Catra was never big on reading, but now seemed like as good a time as any to start cracking open some documents. The Horde may not have been perfect, but there was a half-decent collection of data on a variety of subjects at the information center. Naturally, most of it was either highly restricted or filled with Horde propaganda, but there couldn't be any harm in looking. Catra had basically no reason to come here in for her entire life, so looking inside for the first time made her feel even more out of place than usual. The place was less of a library and more of a giant server room with a handful of touchscreen monitors scattered about. The entire room buzzed with the hum of electronic devices, staving off the otherwise dead silence.

The bespectacled Etherian at the front desk had pointed her to Section 32-B for 'weird time stuff', as Catra had put it. But the egghead language barrier was far from her final challenge to overcome.

[ PRESENT FORCE CAPTAIN BADGE TO CONTINUE, ] the monitor read when she attempted to search for 'time travel'. Of course this topic would be classified too. She was beginning to kick herself for not finding Shadow Weaver on the way here when she heard the sound of frustrated grunting a few servers down. Peering over the monitor, Catra saw the scorpion lady from earlier struggling to type something out on a monitor with her big pincers.

"Oh, hey, a little help here?" the lady asked.

Catra complied, if for no other reason than to seek out a conversation she hadn't yet had.

"So," the scorpion continued, "I'm trying to type something out here, but you know." She clicked her unwieldy claws together, silently explaining her predicament. "This word has been bugging me all day but I can't place where I heard it from. Could you give me a hand with typing it in real quick?"

"If you let me borrow your badge afterward," Catra said. "I forgot mine in the barracks." Sure, it was technically a lie, but normally by this point in the day she'd be a force captain already.

"You've got yourself a deal. So, just type in an E..."

The feline slowly spelled it out onto the monitor as the force captain recited it to her, letter by letter. When she was done, she hit the search button.

[ FILENAME "ENTRAPTA" NOT FOUND. ]

Entrapta...

_Catra closed her eyes and remembered a girl with long purple pigtails, arguing emphatically with her about something very important. She could feel the static spray through the air as she zapped the girl unconscious with a stun baton for daring to question her. 'Put her on the transport to Beast Island,' she'd said on a whim, condemning her to a fate worse than death._

She opened her eyes. Where had that memory come from?

"Aw, heck," the scorpion lady said. "Well, thanks anyway. Here." With some difficulty, she unclipped her force captain badge and placed it in Catra's hands.

"No problem," Catra said a little uneasily. Whoever this Entrapta was, she was beginning to think she remembered her too. "I'll, uh, be right back with this."

She rounded the corner back to Section 32-B and found her monitor still prompting her for permission. She held up the badge to the sensor and let it scan. [ ACCESS GRANTED, ] it said with a confirmatory beep. [ WELCOME, FORCE CAPTAIN SCORPIA. ]

_Again, the feline was thrown back into a vision. Catra was on a boat, desperately trying not to become seasick while the scorpion woman 'reassured' her by wrapping her in a tight hug. She remembered trekking through the desert with her, miserable but secretly grateful she wasn't alone. And then, the vision that tied her stomach into knots; she turned the stun baton on the force captain, her friend, when she questioned her judgement._

_"You wanna be next?" she'd threatened._

Did she really do these things? The catgirl had known she was a terrible person ever since she was old enough to know anything at all, but there were some lines even she didn't think she could cross. Or would cross, for that matter.

Maybe she didn't know herself as well as she should.

When she came back to her senses, page upon page of technical documents had filled the screen, each nearly incomprehensible to anyone but the most accomplished physicist. Looks like she'd have some homework to do.

Scorpia had followed behind her, and was now peeking over her shoulder at the text on the monitor. "Wow, you're even smarter than I thought if you can understand all that junk."

Catra tossed the badge to her and scanned through the many paragraphs of scientifically dense findings. "I'm just doing a little independent research of my own."

Scorpia clasped her claws together. "Good for you! Anyway, I gotta get to the force captain meeting. Again. See ya later, Wildcat!" With those parting words, the woman made her way out of the information center.

Catra hardly paid her departure any mind, but not long later a sudden realization stopped her in her tracks.

Wildcat. Scorpia had called her that name before.

How much had she forgotten? It felt like there was entire life she'd never known that was being unearthed with every passing conversation, every small discovery. Between Entrapta, the sword, and that dream she kept having, she was getting the feeling all these things were a lot more connected than she initially thought.

She had to keep digging.

*****

Catra had spent four hours poring over documents in a fruitless attempt to glean something from them when Adora finally found her.

"Catra!" called Adora. 

"Ssshh!" the Etherian at the reception desk scolded.

" _Catra_ ," Adora whispered as loudly as she could get away with, marching over to her with a green badge in hand. "There you are. Shadow Weaver is promoting you to force captain! She told me to give this to you."

"Uh huh," Catra said, utterly disinterested. Her hand reached out to take the badge, but the other unexpectedly pulled her hand away.

"What, no gloating? No cocky remark? Who are you and what have you done with Catra."

On the one hand, she wanted to celebrate this moment with Adora, who as always was infectiously happy on her behalf, but there were deep questions at the back of her mind aching to be answered. "Look, I'm just kind of distracted with this. I've been doing some reading all day."

"Wait. Are you actually doing _research_? In the _library_? You are definitely not the real Catra."

"Adora. Does the name Entrapta mean anything to you?"

A spark of recognition flickered across the blonde's face, if only for a second. "Uh. I don't know." She scratched the back of her head. "It sounds familiar I guess?"

"I think she's got something to do with all of this."

"Something to do with what?" Adora said a bit too loudly.

"Ssshh!" the receptionist shushed from the front of the room.

"I'm stuck in some kind of loop," Catra exposited. "I don't know how, and I don't know why, but every morning I wake up on the same day at the same time, and the same things happen over and over again."

"Catra, I know spending a lot of time in the Fright Zone can make anyone stir crazy, but if you're feeling depressed you can always talk to me-"

"I'm not depressed," she hissed, snatching her badge from Adora. "And I'm not crazy either. I just need to get some answers. Entrapta is the key to all of this."

Overhead, she heard the flap of batlike wings. A small, impish creature took off from atop a nearby server and flew out the doors of the information center. She felt like she'd seen it before, but unlike the others, this buried memory still eluded her.

Adora looked to the feline and sighed. "Whatever you say, Catra. I'll be in the barracks if you wanna start acting normal again, okay?" She turned away, leaving Catra to her studies.

She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for pushing her friend away like that. The two were always supposed to have each other's backs, but there was nothing Adora could do to help her with this if she didn't even remember what the problem was. Catra had to do this alone. It wasn't the first time she'd been forced to face a problem this way, was it? She vaguely recalled a time when she couldn't call on Adora for help, when there was nobody but herself to save her. She had done well enough then, hadn't she? The idea of being alone wasn't pleasant, but knowing she'd done it once before and managed to succeed brought some small comfort to the cat as she continued to hunt for clues.

" _Catra_!" boomed the voice of Shadow Weaver behind her. The catgirl leaped nearly her height into the air with a yowl.

The frustrated voice of the receptionist called across the room. "What part of 'ssshh' don't you people understand!?"

Shadow Weaver's eyes narrowed. "Catra," she said, still stern but a bit quieter.

"Shadow Weaver!?" When had she even gotten here? She was always so good at sneaking up on her, it was downright scary. But what could have driven her to seek Catra out?

"Lord Hordak wants to have a word with you. Immediately."

*****

As Shadow Weaver dragged her across the length of Hordak's sanctum, Catra's anxiety began to turn to dread. People weren't brought here to celebrate their successes, it was the place where failure was punished and the weak were culled. Everyone knew this.

"Here she is, Lord Hordak." The sorceress tossed Catra to the floor. "As you've requested."

Hordak's throne was turned away from her, obscuring him from her view. "Good. Now leave us." His imp rested on his arm, letting out an infuriating giggle as it spotted Catra. 

Evidently, Shadow Weaver wanted to stay and watch the bloodbath. "My Lord, Catra is a slippery one. She may need additional supervision."

"Are you questioning my ability?" he snapped and turned his chair to face the magician, his red eyes burning right through Catra as though she weren't even there. "I said, _leave us_."

A pause. Shadow Weaver's fists clenched. "As you wish, my Lord." She faded into the shadows. Catra was left alone to the mercy of Hordak, if he even possessed such a thing.

For a moment, there was only an uncomfortable stillness between the two of them. The cat didn't dare move, terrified that any action found to be out of line would result in her own demise. After what felt like an hour of tense silence, Hordak finally spoke up. "Force captain Catra. It seems to me that you know something I don't."

She stood up. "I'm... not sure what you mean, Lord Hordak."

"Entrapta is the key to all of this." Hordak's imp smugly opened its mouth to parrot Catra's words to its master in her voice.

"Oh, but I think you do. Tell me who this... Entrapta is."

"Entrapta," the imp mimicked, taking flight across the room. "Entrapta. Entrapta."

"I don't know," she half-lied. "Someone mentioned her name to me earlier. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't really place it." Why was she trying to protect Scorpia? The two barely knew each other. Some screwed up sense of guilt, maybe, over something she wasn't even sure really happened? It probably wasn't worth risking her life over.

"Do not play coy with me, force captain. You know more than you let on." He rose from his throne and descended the steps down to Catra, who tensed in anticipation for what came next. "I do not know why, but this name bears some meaning to me. You will relinquish your secrets, or I will pull them from you by force!"

A part of Catra screamed at herself not to tell. She was getting the feeling that whatever she'd done to the poor girl, nobody could afford to find out. Not even Hordak. No, _especially_ not Hordak.

"Really! I don't know anything!" she insisted.

" _Lies_!" He spun on his heel toward his throne and pulled a lever of some sort. The lever from her dream? No, this one was different somehow, but she remembered its significance all too late. Her dread turned to panic as a circle of pylons around the two of them sparked and jolted with purple electricity. She tried to scream out only to discover there was no air to breathe. Her chest heaved as she tried with all her might to stay conscious.

"Truly breath is wasted on a creature as lowly as you," Hordak continued, "and so, I have taken it away from you. Do you really wish to die for your secrets?"

Even as Catra's breath hitched and her lungs ached, she recognized all of this as strikingly familiar. This was not the first time she'd been subjected to such torture.

_"This was a test, and you failed," came Hordak's voice from a lifetime ago. She had lied to him then, too, hadn't she?_

She tried to run away, to get anywhere but here, but already her body was giving out on her, and she fell on all fours. Her head pounded in her skull, and she swore that if she didn't get oxygen in her lungs, it would surely explode.

"No one may defy my will and live to tell the tale." He knelt beside her and tilted her chin up with a finger. "Unless, of course, you're willing to talk."

She longed for Adora to come, to whisk her away from this nightmare, but no such respite would arrive for her. She was on her own. She couldn't give in. She wouldn't.

Catra blinked back tears and stared defiantly into the awful red eyes of her tormentor.

"I didn't think so," he mused, standing up to his full height and turning away from her. "Goodnight, Catra."

Darkness took her.


End file.
